Humans are so hypocritical, when one family wanted a condo, the other family then wanted to for face or some other reasons. Then the other family, when told of this, wanted to withdraw as they could not bear being the neighbour of the other family, always being used to water plants etc. One family basically hated the other or so we were told.
In the end, had to run several times and disturbed plus anger the developer just to help them get their money back and got back full refund i did even though it was more than 1 month. No, i did not gain a single cent from this even if they had not cancelled as this was from developer and all the discounts, i already asked the developers to give to them, the only thing one of them did was to give a big ang pao for my daughters first month.
In the end, now the 2 families are great friends and even go travelling together. They even brought my grandmother into Malaysia without the courtesy of informing my dad, who was the very reason why they had a house in Malaysia in the first place. I am ok to be used or ordered around to help out at least for the sake of my dad but it angered me deeply that he was left out of all this.
Going through so much time and spending so much effort to help them and then they do all this. I never invite relatives to my wifes school event but made an exception one day for my childs graduation, imagine how sad we felt when we were told that they had to see some plants at a nursery and we informed them too last minute. Then another time, the first thing they did once their house (which we helped to select and recommend) was done was to compare houses and say that i must be jealous of how much cars they could park in their house, how their house and land combined was bigger. If i was going to be jealous or worried about that, why would i take time away from my family to help you?
Aside from one of them, what have you ever done for me or my family? Then, after that even better, commenting on things in my house and asking me point blank why i never changed this or that, is it because i have no money? I said straightaway i have no money. Since my army days, my dad has always asked me to see if i can work for this rich relative, i made it a point to struggle, work really hard and never ever depend on these rich relatives. Then the comparison comes,
asking my dad if i even have money for down payment for my cars, etc. Why are you comparing the things that a person in his thirties and someone in his fifties has achieved, its not fair to me and certainly not fair to you?
No one to blame but ourselves for we did what we could as relatives, maybe to them, we were never their relatives in the first place. If anyone ever claims that they are my relatives in Malaysia, please ignore, i have NO relatives in Malaysia.
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Friday 6 December 2013
Sometimes life is so unpredictable, it is also sad. I can accept anything but deceit and somehow sometimes things don't always go to plan.
We had a common property which we sold back then but without any form of proof, i was told about 4 months later after the OTP that the buyer couldn't get a loan. He was acting as their agent and doing it for free.
As most of my funds were locked into investments and one friend i helped a little had financial issues and i had to pay for him first. I at first offered to refund more but he was upset when i offered to give back 70-80% and said i treated them as a beggar and refused the offer. I told him i didn't mind giving back more than that if they are friends but got a pretty rude response back lecturing me how to do business and not mix personal with business. But then this is business, if it was strictly business, then there should have not been any arm twisting to do a refund as we exchanged more than 10 emails just on the subject. It was clear cut that they missed the deadline. Even this started out of an email to check on the status and it was only after that i got the notice from him about the possible bank loan refusals.
When i missed the deadline on my deals because of my fault, i paid my dues and late interest. Some cases i forfeited the deposits and did not quibble as this is business after all. Even some of my neighbours, if the person cannot go ahead with the deal due to loans, valuation etc, they just didn't show up anymore and when i called them on their behalf, they were even embarrassed to talk further and told my friends that they were apologetic and to please keep the deposit. My real estate friends and even one of them who was his friend privately told me i didn't have to pay a single cent as it was way past the deadline.
He then kindly offered to give me a loan so that i can pay his buyers back but i didn't want to burden him and sincerely thanked him for the offer as he said he also had finances issues. I still believe him when he said, he made full payment back of his share of the deposit. Somehow i got the impression he had promised them a full repayment even for my share if the deal didn't go through and probably without discussing with me.
Subsequently, i proposed a small token sum to be given back, he got upset and said i had promised 70-80, i told him he had refused my offer outright and the circumstances had changed by then. He got very angry and said i benefited X amount of dollars even though he forgot that the amount due to me is before taking off the amount. He accused me of locking in profit when i made it clear from the start that we can give the buyers more time but that they need to ensure they will go ahead with the deal as we will have to forfeit once they passed the deadline.
Regardless, i still wanted to and I even wanted to get a bank loan just to pay back. My wife chided me, told me what my friends said was true, even if i gave back 100% or more, if he continues to chooses to misunderstand me, there is absolutely nothing i can do. Even if i pay more, he is going to think i am using money to insult him. There was a time when i had less than 20 RM in my bank account and i still cobbled together 100 RM to give him as a gift. I just felt i had to show my appreciation and gratitude but somehow the misunderstandings just grew deeper and he said thank you for my "kindness"
Perhaps our friendship was never as solid as i thought. Again, i am not blameless, i was upset by the way i was treated and misunderstood. I felt, to be taken as insulting people with money when one doesn't have any is actually an insult in itself. So i kept my distance after that.
No matter, i guess its a matter of perception, he must have thought i was doing very well but didn't know that a friend of mine played quite a few guys out and i had to help cover back then as i was the introducer and felt compelled to make the deal right.
I even honoured and sold things cheaply even though others gave me a better offer subsequently, a deal is a deal. I guess that is something that only my wife understands about me.
Anyway, if you are still reading this, hope that you are having a much better time than i did.
Back to work for me but wishing you a great weekend.
We had a common property which we sold back then but without any form of proof, i was told about 4 months later after the OTP that the buyer couldn't get a loan. He was acting as their agent and doing it for free.
As most of my funds were locked into investments and one friend i helped a little had financial issues and i had to pay for him first. I at first offered to refund more but he was upset when i offered to give back 70-80% and said i treated them as a beggar and refused the offer. I told him i didn't mind giving back more than that if they are friends but got a pretty rude response back lecturing me how to do business and not mix personal with business. But then this is business, if it was strictly business, then there should have not been any arm twisting to do a refund as we exchanged more than 10 emails just on the subject. It was clear cut that they missed the deadline. Even this started out of an email to check on the status and it was only after that i got the notice from him about the possible bank loan refusals.
When i missed the deadline on my deals because of my fault, i paid my dues and late interest. Some cases i forfeited the deposits and did not quibble as this is business after all. Even some of my neighbours, if the person cannot go ahead with the deal due to loans, valuation etc, they just didn't show up anymore and when i called them on their behalf, they were even embarrassed to talk further and told my friends that they were apologetic and to please keep the deposit. My real estate friends and even one of them who was his friend privately told me i didn't have to pay a single cent as it was way past the deadline.
He then kindly offered to give me a loan so that i can pay his buyers back but i didn't want to burden him and sincerely thanked him for the offer as he said he also had finances issues. I still believe him when he said, he made full payment back of his share of the deposit. Somehow i got the impression he had promised them a full repayment even for my share if the deal didn't go through and probably without discussing with me.
Subsequently, i proposed a small token sum to be given back, he got upset and said i had promised 70-80, i told him he had refused my offer outright and the circumstances had changed by then. He got very angry and said i benefited X amount of dollars even though he forgot that the amount due to me is before taking off the amount. He accused me of locking in profit when i made it clear from the start that we can give the buyers more time but that they need to ensure they will go ahead with the deal as we will have to forfeit once they passed the deadline.
Regardless, i still wanted to and I even wanted to get a bank loan just to pay back. My wife chided me, told me what my friends said was true, even if i gave back 100% or more, if he continues to chooses to misunderstand me, there is absolutely nothing i can do. Even if i pay more, he is going to think i am using money to insult him. There was a time when i had less than 20 RM in my bank account and i still cobbled together 100 RM to give him as a gift. I just felt i had to show my appreciation and gratitude but somehow the misunderstandings just grew deeper and he said thank you for my "kindness"
Perhaps our friendship was never as solid as i thought. Again, i am not blameless, i was upset by the way i was treated and misunderstood. I felt, to be taken as insulting people with money when one doesn't have any is actually an insult in itself. So i kept my distance after that.
No matter, i guess its a matter of perception, he must have thought i was doing very well but didn't know that a friend of mine played quite a few guys out and i had to help cover back then as i was the introducer and felt compelled to make the deal right.
I even honoured and sold things cheaply even though others gave me a better offer subsequently, a deal is a deal. I guess that is something that only my wife understands about me.
Anyway, if you are still reading this, hope that you are having a much better time than i did.
Back to work for me but wishing you a great weekend.
I left a partnership early this year and looking back, i was glad i did as it spiraled towards dictatorship towards the end. No one is to be blamed as communication is a two way street. Perhaps i am a poor partner as well.
Been going through the toughest 6 months i ever had. Lots of turbulence, from simple misunderstandings to even having someone saying i insult people with money when they are just assuming without even knowing what i was going through at that time. I knew what was happening behind my back but i choose to keep quiet out of respect, gratitude and friendship. Instead still offered opportunities to work together but it was refused outright.
Perhaps it was not meant to be given my lack of social skills and every time i thought to introduce a deal, someone will remind me of how it was refused and discouraged me from continuing to offer. Still i did twice more but there was just no response. I even went to his place a couple of times but though the car was there, perhaps the person wasn't.
I am still very full of gratitude towards the person even though business did not proceed as planned. I guess my idea of a partnership back in November last year was very different, to me a partner represent making a decision and then moving forward together once agreement is reached. It should not be dictated by just one party but through consensus. Both himself and myself rejected quite a few potential partners who have offered us at different times but i guess it was not meant to be.
Worse case is to point out things (both good or bad) to people which i have a bad habit of doing. Towards the end, my folks told me to just move on. It was indeed a learning experience for me. It was also funny that the people so cordial and nice to him today were the very people who kept asking me to break off contact with him as soon as the deal was over. It was easy to say but very hard as we were also living near to each other.
I really enjoyed the good chats we had as we learned from each other, it was probably one of the best times i had.
Then some folks went behind my back and contacted some of my friends for deals. I understand, just because i don't try to contact their doesn't mean that others can't but if forces my friends to have to choose and sometimes the length of time the choice did take some time. I just kept quiet and pretended not to know but sometimes its better not to know than to know. I choose to ignore for the first 2-3 folks he approached until it became a litle sneaky. All this while i offered to work with that person or introduce my friends to him.
Even my friends offered him to do joint deals but in front of me, the deals was refused outright, only to continue behind my back and when he refused to do joint deals with me, my friends were forced to choose, to repay them, i informed my staff not to charge them anything at all. Perhaps because some deals went to my firm, he thought i must have gotten commissions but truth be told i didn't. The stakeholders will know the truth.
Didn't know how i made it back then. There was a lot of uncertainty with my work then and it was a real challenge trying to balance life, work and business. Especially with work as together with all the commitments and last minute changes to both work and business, i really got tired.
To a point that i was barely hanging on every day but i still put on a brave front and worked straight day and nights just to get things done.
In the end, communication was kept to a minimum between us and i must say i must have offended him with my choice of words or communication medium. I blamed myself for the longest time and even changed settings to stop updates and to restrict access to my postings on Facebook just in case he thought i was showing off.
I really thought highly of our friendship, i still think highly of him and his family no matter what happened. Still remember the silly me, giving radio control cars to his kids and playing with them with my kids after what i thought was the end of their school day. But the anger his wife showed that time when calling them back really was a bit sad.
It really deterred me from talking to him and going over for a long time as i felt very unwelcomed.
Been going through the toughest 6 months i ever had. Lots of turbulence, from simple misunderstandings to even having someone saying i insult people with money when they are just assuming without even knowing what i was going through at that time. I knew what was happening behind my back but i choose to keep quiet out of respect, gratitude and friendship. Instead still offered opportunities to work together but it was refused outright.
Perhaps it was not meant to be given my lack of social skills and every time i thought to introduce a deal, someone will remind me of how it was refused and discouraged me from continuing to offer. Still i did twice more but there was just no response. I even went to his place a couple of times but though the car was there, perhaps the person wasn't.
I am still very full of gratitude towards the person even though business did not proceed as planned. I guess my idea of a partnership back in November last year was very different, to me a partner represent making a decision and then moving forward together once agreement is reached. It should not be dictated by just one party but through consensus. Both himself and myself rejected quite a few potential partners who have offered us at different times but i guess it was not meant to be.
Worse case is to point out things (both good or bad) to people which i have a bad habit of doing. Towards the end, my folks told me to just move on. It was indeed a learning experience for me. It was also funny that the people so cordial and nice to him today were the very people who kept asking me to break off contact with him as soon as the deal was over. It was easy to say but very hard as we were also living near to each other.
I really enjoyed the good chats we had as we learned from each other, it was probably one of the best times i had.
Then some folks went behind my back and contacted some of my friends for deals. I understand, just because i don't try to contact their doesn't mean that others can't but if forces my friends to have to choose and sometimes the length of time the choice did take some time. I just kept quiet and pretended not to know but sometimes its better not to know than to know. I choose to ignore for the first 2-3 folks he approached until it became a litle sneaky. All this while i offered to work with that person or introduce my friends to him.
Even my friends offered him to do joint deals but in front of me, the deals was refused outright, only to continue behind my back and when he refused to do joint deals with me, my friends were forced to choose, to repay them, i informed my staff not to charge them anything at all. Perhaps because some deals went to my firm, he thought i must have gotten commissions but truth be told i didn't. The stakeholders will know the truth.
Didn't know how i made it back then. There was a lot of uncertainty with my work then and it was a real challenge trying to balance life, work and business. Especially with work as together with all the commitments and last minute changes to both work and business, i really got tired.
To a point that i was barely hanging on every day but i still put on a brave front and worked straight day and nights just to get things done.
In the end, communication was kept to a minimum between us and i must say i must have offended him with my choice of words or communication medium. I blamed myself for the longest time and even changed settings to stop updates and to restrict access to my postings on Facebook just in case he thought i was showing off.
I really thought highly of our friendship, i still think highly of him and his family no matter what happened. Still remember the silly me, giving radio control cars to his kids and playing with them with my kids after what i thought was the end of their school day. But the anger his wife showed that time when calling them back really was a bit sad.
It really deterred me from talking to him and going over for a long time as i felt very unwelcomed.
Friday 26 July 2013
Recently a few good friends of mine invited me to join in a few property firms. After checking out a few, i have this to say about Trans Global Properties:
One of the rare property firms who has been around for more than a decade and really know their stuff and value service especially the bosses are not just in it for the financial side of things.
If anyone is keen to join them or explore other opportunities, please contact them:
As part of their growth strategy, Trans Global Properties are now inviting committed & dynamic individuals to come on board to join their growing team.
Now hiring, both agents and branch managers. For the right candidates, the company is willing to dedicate time and effort on grooming of talents.
Interested parties, please do contact Jesse at +60127827977 or Joseph at +60127007710.
http://www.tgp.com.my/home.php
One of the rare property firms who has been around for more than a decade and really know their stuff and value service especially the bosses are not just in it for the financial side of things.
If anyone is keen to join them or explore other opportunities, please contact them:
As part of their growth strategy, Trans Global Properties are now inviting committed & dynamic individuals to come on board to join their growing team.
Now hiring, both agents and branch managers. For the right candidates, the company is willing to dedicate time and effort on grooming of talents.
Interested parties, please do contact Jesse at +60127827977 or Joseph at +60127007710.
http://www.tgp.com.my/home.php
Wednesday 11 July 2012
An old poem:
Setting sun, casting lingering shadows upon the greying shores
Crashing waves from the tide, flowing in with discarded toys
People leaving, setting sail, some still waiting for that gale.
Sadly, some without a choice, their sorrow without a voice.
Cries unheard, tears unseen, leaving behind festering greed.
Vacating their place, tired of seeing another uncaring face.
Gleeful fly feeding on yet another, people rushing crestfallen.
Nary a smiling brow as they just staggered on with a frown.
Dying preferred to being ill, like a used battery dumped in the fields.
What have we become, where are we going?
Where the promised alpine land once stood, only ruins awaits the
ones that were lost.
The dream that once was is no more, press on, return not back
to the forsaken shore.
Wu Qi
Wednesday 27 June 2012
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